What is a Goalie?, News (Blyth Brussels Minor Hockey)

PrintNews Article
Click to view full-size image
What is a Goalie?
Submitted By kreid on Monday, February 4, 2008
A little humour for the playoffs....

 

                                                        WHAT IS A GOALIE?

 

TEAM COACH

- Leaps tall buildings in a single bound

- Is more powerful than a locomotive

- Is faster than a speeding bullet

- Walks on water

- Gives policy to God

 

TEAM CAPTAIN

- Leaps short buildings with single bound

- Is more powerful than a switch engine

- Is just as fast as a speeding bullet

- Walks on water if the sea is calm

- Talks with God

 

ASSISTANT CAPTAIN

- Leaps short buildings with a running start and favorable winds

- Is almost as powerful as a switch engine

- Is faster than a speeding BB

- Walks on water in an indoor swimming pool

- Talks with God if special request is granted

 

DEFENSEMAN

- Barely clears a Quonset hut

- Loses tug-of-war with a switch engine

- Can fire a speeding bullet

- Swims well

- Is occasionally addressed by God

 

FORWARD

- Makes high marks on the wall when trying to leap buildings

- Is run over by a locomotive

- Can sometimes handle a gun without inflicting self-injury

- Dog paddles

- Talks to animals

 

ROOKIE

- Runs into buildings

- Recognizes locomotive two out of three times

- Is not issued ammunition

- Can't stay afloat with a life preserver

- Talks to walls

 

GOALIE

- Lifts buildings and walks under them

- Kicks locomotives off the tracks

- Catches speeding bullets with his teeth and eats them

- Freezes water with a single glance (who needs a Zamboni?)

- He/She is God!

 

Author Unknown

This article has been viewed 1003 times.
News ArchiveOther Recent Articles
  • 21
    Jan
    Organization
    Hello Members Both Blyth and Brussels Arenas are removing their ice, which means our season has officially come to an end, effective immediately. Refunds: The December 1st registration payment covered December 2020 and January 2021 ice, since ...
  • 08
    Dec
    Organization
    Hello Members: All ice times will resume Thursday December 10, 2020. Thank you for your patience and understanding.   Reminders - Complete the Ontario Hockey Federation Health Screening questionnaire and sign in at the Arena. - ...
  • 06
    Dec
    Organization
    December 6 COVID Update After discussion with the health unit, BBMHA is suspending all ice times from now through Wednesday December 9, 2020. The health unit is extremely busy with contact tracing and we need to give them enough time to accomplish ...
  • 26
    Nov
    Organization
    As you may know the Huron-Perth Health Unit has moved to orange, we have checked the protocols and the following new measures are in place:   1.    Only ONE(1) Parent/Guardian allowed in the facility per player. Absolutely no exceptions (i.e. no ...
  • 23
    Nov
    Organization
    Reminders as we go forward: The number of spectators and players allowed in both the Blyth and Brussels arenas is a MAXIMUM of 50 in the entire building. This includes the players, coaching staff and parents/guardians. Only 1 parent/guardian ...
  • 08
    Nov
    Organization
    Last day to order through Dunny's is Nov 21, 2020 BBMHA Apparel with Dunny's Source for Sports
  • 14
    Oct
    Organization
    FOCUS REMAINS ON FUN, SKILL DEVELOPMENT AND TEAMWORK
  • 06
    Oct
    Organization
    Mandatory Parent/Guardian Meeting Will be 30 minutes before your first ice time.  The meeting will be held outside the arena near the entrance.  Look for your coach or a member of the Executive.   
Printed from blythbrusselsminorhockey.ca on Sunday, January 24, 2021 at 4:22 PM