What is a Goalie?, News (Blyth Brussels Minor Hockey)

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What is a Goalie?
Submitted By kreid on Monday, February 4, 2008
A little humour for the playoffs....

 

                                                        WHAT IS A GOALIE?

 

TEAM COACH

- Leaps tall buildings in a single bound

- Is more powerful than a locomotive

- Is faster than a speeding bullet

- Walks on water

- Gives policy to God

 

TEAM CAPTAIN

- Leaps short buildings with single bound

- Is more powerful than a switch engine

- Is just as fast as a speeding bullet

- Walks on water if the sea is calm

- Talks with God

 

ASSISTANT CAPTAIN

- Leaps short buildings with a running start and favorable winds

- Is almost as powerful as a switch engine

- Is faster than a speeding BB

- Walks on water in an indoor swimming pool

- Talks with God if special request is granted

 

DEFENSEMAN

- Barely clears a Quonset hut

- Loses tug-of-war with a switch engine

- Can fire a speeding bullet

- Swims well

- Is occasionally addressed by God

 

FORWARD

- Makes high marks on the wall when trying to leap buildings

- Is run over by a locomotive

- Can sometimes handle a gun without inflicting self-injury

- Dog paddles

- Talks to animals

 

ROOKIE

- Runs into buildings

- Recognizes locomotive two out of three times

- Is not issued ammunition

- Can't stay afloat with a life preserver

- Talks to walls

 

GOALIE

- Lifts buildings and walks under them

- Kicks locomotives off the tracks

- Catches speeding bullets with his teeth and eats them

- Freezes water with a single glance (who needs a Zamboni?)

- He/She is God!

 

Author Unknown

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