What is a Goalie?, News (Blyth Brussels Minor Hockey)

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Feb 04, 2008 | kreid | 1107 views
What is a Goalie?
A little humour for the playoffs....

 

                                                        WHAT IS A GOALIE?

 

TEAM COACH

- Leaps tall buildings in a single bound

- Is more powerful than a locomotive

- Is faster than a speeding bullet

- Walks on water

- Gives policy to God

 

TEAM CAPTAIN

- Leaps short buildings with single bound

- Is more powerful than a switch engine

- Is just as fast as a speeding bullet

- Walks on water if the sea is calm

- Talks with God

 

ASSISTANT CAPTAIN

- Leaps short buildings with a running start and favorable winds

- Is almost as powerful as a switch engine

- Is faster than a speeding BB

- Walks on water in an indoor swimming pool

- Talks with God if special request is granted

 

DEFENSEMAN

- Barely clears a Quonset hut

- Loses tug-of-war with a switch engine

- Can fire a speeding bullet

- Swims well

- Is occasionally addressed by God

 

FORWARD

- Makes high marks on the wall when trying to leap buildings

- Is run over by a locomotive

- Can sometimes handle a gun without inflicting self-injury

- Dog paddles

- Talks to animals

 

ROOKIE

- Runs into buildings

- Recognizes locomotive two out of three times

- Is not issued ammunition

- Can't stay afloat with a life preserver

- Talks to walls

 

GOALIE

- Lifts buildings and walks under them

- Kicks locomotives off the tracks

- Catches speeding bullets with his teeth and eats them

- Freezes water with a single glance (who needs a Zamboni?)

- He/She is God!

 

Author Unknown

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S. Somers Electric LTC
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Barmy Tech
Barmy Tech is an industrial sewing centre with extensive experience in a wide variety of products and fabrics. We are available for sub-contract work to help maintain inventories during peak seasons. We offer quality silk screening using environmentally friendly vegetable oil based inks on customized promotional products. Whether its bandanas, aprons, or tote bags we can quote a completed price. *** Barmy tech receives manufacturing award *** NEW SERVICE - we now have our very own Heat Transfer Press to personalize team uniforms, birthday or anniversary gifts. On a more personal level we replace camper awnings, boat covers, gazebo canvas, motor home drapes or cushion covers. We are proud to be a part of the community and if all you need is your bowling bag repaired, or a new zipper in your favorite coat we can help. Additional Contact Information: We are located in the Walton Venture Centre (former public school) beside the United Church. Phone: 519-887-9393 Fax: 519-887-9170 Email: Url: www.barmytech.on.ca Location: 42659 Walton Rd. Walton, ON N0K 1Z0 Hours: 8:00am - 5:00pm Mon. - Fri.
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