TEAM COACH
- Leaps tall buildings in a single bound
- Is more powerful than a locomotive
- Is faster than a speeding bullet
- Walks on water
- Gives policy to God
TEAM CAPTAIN
- Leaps short buildings with single bound
- Is more powerful than a switch engine
- Is just as fast as a speeding bullet
- Walks on water if the sea is calm
- Talks with God
ASSISTANT CAPTAIN
- Leaps short buildings with a running start and favorable winds
- Is almost as powerful as a switch engine
- Is faster than a speeding BB
- Walks on water in an indoor swimming pool
- Talks with God if special request is granted
DEFENSEMAN
- Barely clears a Quonset hut
- Loses tug-of-war with a switch engine
- Can fire a speeding bullet
- Swims well
- Is occasionally addressed by God
FORWARD
- Makes high marks on the wall when trying to leap buildings
- Is run over by a locomotive
- Can sometimes handle a gun without inflicting self-injury
- Dog paddles
- Talks to animals
ROOKIE
- Runs into buildings
- Recognizes locomotive two out of three times
- Is not issued ammunition
- Can't stay afloat with a life preserver
- Talks to walls
GOALIE
- Lifts buildings and walks under them
- Kicks locomotives off the tracks
- Catches speeding bullets with his teeth and eats them
- Freezes water with a single glance (who needs a Zamboni?)
- He/She is God!